


A love like this won't last forever

by supercalifragilistichespiralidoso



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragilistichespiralidoso/pseuds/supercalifragilistichespiralidoso
Summary: Anakin comes clean about his feelings for Obi-Wan





	A love like this won't last forever

**Author's Note:**

> Don't speak English, so there will be mistakes.  
> Title from Love like this by Kodaline

**A love like this won't last forever**

 

Anakin is honest enough, apparently not only to himself, to admit that he may have a mild anger issue and that he is quite prone to lose his temper occasionally because it's a thing that his teachers at the Temple and his Master have never been too shy to hold against him. But disclosing his own secrets - the ones that are suppposed to be buried very deep into his mind - has never been a problem before. War and death have changed that for him. 

"Say something" he says, witholding the final  _Master_ that is always on tip of his tongue when talking to Obi-Wan, even months after his Knighthood and despite the fact that one doesn't always have to address whoever they are speaking with; in Anakin's case it seems to be an unavoidable need - he can almost hear some fictious Jedi healer telling that it's nothing but a ruse to have attention on himself. 

Obi-Wan looks ready to flee or have another round against droids - everything in his posture, expression and appareance suggests that probably it would be easier for him to slash through seppies than to accomodate Anakin's request. He opens his mouth once and, when no sound comes out, closes it. 

So much for The Negotiator, Anakin sneers, feeling almost vindicated for his embarrassment.

"Whatever it is that you think to feel about me, it's not the case" he says, speaking slowly and enunciating every word, like he would do with a youngling in the crèche and not a Jedi Knight of almost twenty-one. He tries to appear calm and collected on the outside, shields flawlessly, frustratingly in place as always, but Anakin knows him well, even better than himself possibly - he's forcing his shoulders to relax and his facial features into a schooled expression. "It wouldn't be first time that an apprentice believes to have feelings for their Master. And we have been away from home for a long time now and fighting a war - you are merely reacting to all this" he argues, making it seem like the most natural thing in the galaxy and Anakin is the stupid one for not thinking of that instead of going and developing what in his Master's mind is only a crush fuelled by the bond and war. 

The irony is that in a way Obi-Wan is right: the only reason he confessed is because the death of the umpteenth clone before his eyes made him realise that life is too short, as cliché as it sounds - they can't all be like Master Yoda and live hundreds of years, and the life of a Jedi, especially now that they are at war, can end at any given moment, so Anakin thought that it's fine to try and be as happy as he possibly can in the time that he has. Not that 'fessing up and happiness go hand in hand considering it's not only up to him and Obi-Wan is the perfect Jedi not just because of his victories or the stoic attitude - he lives by the Code painstakingly, while Anakin... well, Anakin doesn't stick to rules as much. 

So, war may be the catalyst, but it doesn't have anything to do with Anakin's feelings that blossomed plenty of time before - even before he was ranked a Knight - and the fact that Obi-Wan is convinced to have a say in what he feels is disturbing. Anakin would be squirming with discomfort if not for the trace of anger he's trying to not aggravate, because the older Jedi has been blind to the awkwardness and the annoyance at believing that maybe the Council had been right about him to be unqualified for the training if he was more interested in impressing his Master rather than actually listening to what he was saying.

"No, trust me. I know what I feel" Anakin replies, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

Contrary to what's just happened and his not rule-abiding nature, he has never had any intention of cluing Obi-Wan in on his feelings, determined to suffer in silence because he is a Jedi and would like to remain so even if he doesn't see eye to eye on a lot of things regarding the Order. It was a private matter that he was more than prepared to keep as such both because of his duty and, more importantly, the absolute certainty that in the off chance Obi-Wan felt the same, he wouldn't act on it anyway. 

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes and sighs. "And Senator Amidala? Weren't you in love with her?" he asks, challenging. There's something in the way he says it, though, that resembles resentment but Anakin is too stunned by the accusation to really give it a thought. 

He gapes at him for a few seconds, awaiting the meaning of the phrase to hit fully and wondering whether he's more surprised or enraged. There was a time Anakin thought himself to be in love with Padmé because how could it be otherwise? She was - still is - beautiful and clever and brave beyond belief and his young heart throbbed a bit faster whenever her figure appeared on the HoloNews, but at the time of their reunion, when her life was in danger and he had to escort her to Naboo, the supposed love had already turned into an infatuation and not much later into affection. Also, by that point, he had been experiencing the first disturbances, mental and physical, caused by his very good-looking Master. Apparently, though, he hid his interest so well that Obi-Wan has never suspected a thing and actually believes that it's Padmé the one Anakin is in love with. 

What infuriates him, instead, is the veiled jab at Anakin's inconstancy. Like he is expected to change his mind again and to have forgotten this whole conversation within the next week or whatever. Deep inside - very, very deep inside, almost bordering on unawareness - he knows that Obi-Wan thinks highly of him but things like this hurt anyway.

Obi-Wan must take the silence for guilt because he says: "See? I'm right" with a smug look and tone that only add fuel to the flames. And Anakin, ever impulsive, is reacting before mind could caught up with actions, grabbing Obi-Wan's arms and smacking lips against lips. 

The kiss is messy - in all honesty it can't be called a kiss because Obi-Wan is too stupefied to move let alone push back and Anakin is so nervous that he squeals a bit even though he's the one assaulting someone with his mouth. It's nothing like he's ever imagined - there's no whispered  _finally_ or a smile or any lips action and his hands stay where they are on toned biceps while Obi-Wan's are nowhere near Anakin's body but at own his sides limp and rigid at the same time; no teasing bites or ragged breaths or trace of tongues. All in all it's almost a dull kiss, seen from the outside, more like an experiment between two green teenagers who don't know better yet. 

Anakin's heart, instead, feels like it's been trampled by a herd of banthas and his stomach mangled by the maw of a gundark because his clouded brain is registering two things: first, Obi-Wan hasn't pulled back yet and shock can excuse only so much lateness before it becomes evident that he has no intention of stopping the kiss and Anakin knows this because second, Obi-Wan's walls are not that flawlessly in place anymore allowing confusion, reproach, hesitation and pleasure to flood the connection between the two of them. 

They're inside the cockpit of the ship and anyone could barge in at any time, and yet Anakin feels like he could wave them back out and carry on merrily - Obi-Wan too maybe considering that he's still there. Encouraged by this, Anakin goes all in and notices with joy that Obi-Wan doesn't protest when he tilts his head lightly on one side to kiss him properly, like he's always only imagined. 

The hand that eventually settles on his chest just gives Anakin the perfect excuse to leave the mouth to peck the older Jedi's jaw, beard scratching lips. Then his throat. Then where his collarbone meets neck. Then mouth again. 

"That's what I feel" he says, thinking it's a miracle that he even remembers how to speak at all or what Obi-Wan's said before, anger now dissipated in favour of his unconditional love that tinges their bond with an encompassing golden hue. Hopefully there's no mistaking it for simple affection between a Master and a Padawan or two friends.

Obi-Wan stares at him, the word  _Anakin_ already forming on the same lips that a moment before where pressed against his, surely to remind him of the impropriety of the action and the Jedi Code because, c'mon, it's Obi-Wan. 

Anakin grins - he wouldn't have it any other way. 


End file.
